Today I want to touch upon the concept of “Being Strong” and without judging existing definitions, I just want to offer a different perspective.
How many times do we have loved ones tell us “Snap out of it, you must be strong”, or then “Everyone goes through problems, be strong”, or then “you are a strong person, deal with it”, or a “Oh come on, you are too strong to let this affect you this way!”, Oh yeah and this one – “Boys don’t cry, boys are strong!”etc…etc..??
We have all heard this right? Either from others or then even from ourselves.
What is the meaning of being strong? If I go by the above responses we receive, it looks to me, like being strong is don’t waste time on your emotions; suppress them and be normal. Is that really how we become strong?
Why is it considered weak to feel your emotions? Why is one considered vulnerable when they express how they feel? Why is someone who cries considered weak?
In today’s world, if anyone who respects and loves themselves enough to nurture and heal their emotions, is in fact not weak – but strong. In a world comprising of opportunists and competition, if someone is willing to be authentic and raw, that’s not vulnerability; but bravery! It takes courage and strength to not just be but also express who you truly are!
Further, crying is akin to detoxifying, excuse me for saying so, but if excretion is not considered a sign of weakness, then neither should crying! It’s performing the same function – detox & cleansing!
Being strong is all about understanding and respecting your uniqueness irrespective of whether or not your family, friends, spouse, or whoever, support or agree with you. It should not matter.
Also, when you “snap out of” something, you create more damage than there ever was because in doing so you are sweeping the dirt under the carpet, its still there! And although on the outside you may appear strong, that unhealed wound will fester inside and weaken you. So contrary to popular belief, real strength is in being brave enough to touch that hurt/pain/ wound/ emotion, acknowledge it, accept it, learn from it and then heal and release it! Suppressing emotions is like running away from them. More like you don’t want to face it! It takes courage to face what you are feeling but believe me that is what will help you at the spiritual, mental, emotional and eventually physical levels in the long run! Unhealed suppressed emotions are also the cause of repeated unhealthy patterns in various aspects of life. And then we often wonder – “why des this keep happening to me?” the answer is “because you pretended to be strong back then” ; however there is a but here – “But its never too late and you can still make amends and heal yourself”.
Also our loved ones ask us to snap out of it, because they can’t see us in pain. It hurts them and that is respected. However, my advice to these loved ones would be to instead encourage the person to address and heal these wounds, so that the “snapping out of it” happens in a more healthy and natural manner.
In conclusion, I would like to say that by addressing your emotions, you befriend them- thereby befriending yourself since they are a part of your entire being. When you address them, you essentially allow for healing to take place whilst not only retaining but also increasing your inner strength.
So be strong, by being totally you – strengths, weaknesses and all. Everything that is you matters. Put it out there. Shine bright! That’s what you are here for – TO BE YOU!
Lots of Love n Light
~ AARYA (Shweta V)